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In Mt. Hope Cemetery, among the broken rows of graves that mark the home deceased and the circuit of overgrown paths that lead the way of the living, stands the figure of a small child. The young boy appears so lifelike--as though he could step out of the marble sculpture and courteously greet his many visitors. He is sharply dressed and in his left hand he holds a book. The look of an eager schoolboy is marred ever so slightly by the sad countenance on his face. Henry Lee Selden died the summer after his twelfth birthday. His life was cut off too soon. The death of a child is almost always unexpected and sad, but the circumstances of young Henry’s death were particularly tragic. These circumstances and the feelings and memories that remain with his parents were the driving force in the creation of such a remarkable memorial monument.
The visitors to Henry Selden’s grave are often saddened by the fact that his life was ended so quickly. However, as my research progressed, the tragedy of Henry Selden’s death grew exponentially. Mt. Hope director Nancy Hillyard and her associates were kind enough to aid my research by allowing access to the internment records book. The most important piece of information obtained was Henry Selden’s cause of death--drowning. Henry’s life was cut off suddenly and unexpectedly. The Rochester Daily Democrat proved to be a valuable source, containing a brief article accounting the circumstances of Henry Selden’s death. The storyline of June 26, 1858 read "Distressing Accident at the Bay -- Drowning of Judge Selden’s Son". The article continues:
The distressing new of the drowning of the little son of Judge Samuel L. Selden, in Irondequoit Bay, was received last evening. The Judge had gone to the Bay accompanied by his son, about twelve years of age, and another young lad. The Judge drove to the Sand Bar, and went in the water to bathe, and to teach his son to swim. Going out where the water was waist-deep, near the old bridge, the boy was instructed to try to swim to his father. In doing so, he suddenly sunk from sight in deep water--probably stepping off where the water was ten or twelve feet deep. There was no other person nearer than half a mile. Mr. Wm. Prindle and others were upon the Bay, about that distance off, in a sail-boat, having a jolly-boat attached. Hearing the voice of Judge Selden calling for assistance, they at once got into the small boat and rowed to the place. But this took time, and the boy had been in the water twenty minutes before they arrived.
It was then impossible to find the body, although efforts were immediately made, by diving and drawing a seine, to recover it from the water. The accident happened some time between 6 and 7 P.M., and at sundown, when Mr. Prindle came up, bringing information to Mr. Ward’s family, the body had not been found.
Judge Selden, who has by this accident lost his only son, is greatly afflicted. He will have the earnest sympathies of every one, in this great bereavement. (Rochester Daily Democrat, 3)
For a parent, the loss of a child is certainly a distressing matter, but the loss of Henry right before his father’s eyes was devastating. Discussing the aspects of unexpected death in When Children Die, Loren Wilkenfeld writes, "The healthy child--vibrant, candid, bubbly--takes in life’s wonders in innocent awe. He grows into adolescence and struggles through the awkward stages when his voice changes and his clothes just don’t fit right . . . The image is one of optimism, of a life not without its difficulties but always with a positive future. That a child will encounter innumerable stumbling blocks as he grows is acceptable: that he may die along the way, unthinkable."(Wilkenfeld, 113) The death of a child was a terrible experience already suffered by the Selden family. After Henry was born in 1846, Susan Ward Selden gave birth to Samuel Ward Selden in 1847. Less than a year later, disease took young Samuel’s life. The loss of a second son added to their grief and a biography of the Selden family notes the impact of Henry’s death on Samuel Selden’s life:
His nephew, Lee Selden, describes the sorrow of Judge Selden’s later years as follows; "His honored judicial career was brought to a close by failing health and domestic affliction. In 1848 he lost an infant son. His only surviving child, a bright lad in his thirteenth year, was drowned before his eyes in Irondequoit Bay in 1858. From this shock he never recovered" (Selden, 12-13)
But the feelings of loss and failure in protection were coupled with continuity of life and hope for rebirth. These sentiments impelled the Seldens to memorialize their child with a gravestone rich with imagery and inscribed with verse. The monument was created by R.E. Launitz, N.Y. Henry Selden’s gravestone speaks to the onlooker in many ways. Its stylized symmetry laden with symbolic imagery conveys feelings of sadness and hope. The lifelike image of the boy captures his essence like a photograph. A prominent symbol on the stone is the morning glory. This flower decorates the entablature and grows over the tree stump that supports the boy. The morning glory is symbol of death and rebirth. This purple flower opens in the morning and dies the same evening and is often found on children’s gravestones because it represents the shortness of life. Flanking the bas-relief of Henry are two wreaths that symbolize the continuity of life. Henry’s right arm rests on a short tree stump. The tree stump is an icon that symbolizes life cut off. The epitaph reinforces the concept of failed protection and continued hope and the book in Henry’s hand most likely refers to the epitaph below:
He is not dead; this child of our affection,
But gone unto that school,
Where he no longer needs our poor protection,
And Christ himself doth rule.
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School is a lovely metaphor for the child’s leaving his parents and going to heaven. Just as a parent must let their child go on the first day of school, the Seldens have let their child go as he moves on. In the Selden family biography, this gravestone is mentioned in the account of Samuel Selden’s death:
Samuel Lee Selden died Sept. 20, 1876. He is buried in Mt. Hope Cemetery, Rochester, N.Y. close to the little son whose death he so mourned. Young Henry Lee Selden's monument of white marble, bears a bas-relief statue of the boy, in the long trousers and short, close-fitting jacket of his day, carved from a daguerreotype which is still in the possession of the family. His features show intelligence and sweetness. So winning is he that his kinsfolk still look upon the stone with sorrow at the tragedy of his death. (Selden, 13)
Henry Selden’s monument is well known to the visitors of Mt. Hope cemetery because of its location among the graves of the prominent Ward family in section G. Henry’s gravestone stands between his younger brother’s stone and that of his mother who died just four years after Henry. Samuel Selden’s grave is in the same line. This prominent family was full of tragedy conveyed by their speaking gravestones.
Back to the Speaking Stones Main Site
Works Cited
"Distressing Accident at the Bay—Drowning of Judge Selden’s Son". Rochester Daily
Democrat. 26 June 1858.
Wilkenfeld, Loren. When Children Die. Kendall/Hart Publishing Company. 1977.
Selden, Clara Sayre. Family Sketches. 1939